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Metric · Gucci

worst date poll

Andrea Julia · Coach

I've been on some bad ones, but I think this one takes the cake. I will try to keep this succinct, but there is really so much involved.

So, our lovely night began with him showing up a half hour late. He hadn't called or anything so I was starting to wonder if he was even showing up. When he did show up, I said something like "I was starting to wonder where you were" and he said there was traffic. That was total bs because he lives 2 towns over from me and if you were to know the route you would take from his town to my town you would understand how there couldn't possibly be traffic (especially enough to make him a half hour late). I let this go. I mean, nobody's perfect and he was hot, rich and had a corvette.

First, he took me to his house to meet his mom and then we went to TGI Fridays. He ended up spending the first half hour on the phone and even went outside to talk. I kept having to send the waitress away as I wished that I brought my own car so I could leave. Finally, he came back and we ate and we actually had a good conversation going. Again, I thought to myself that nobody's perfect and maybe he has some kind of personal issue going on. Who am I to judge someone I don't know? He asked me if I wanted to go to a bar with him and his friends afterward. I agreed and we went to his friend Christina's house to meet up.

Everything was cool at her house. She and her friends seemed nice and we were having a good time. When we got to the bar, he started being all over me and she came over and pulled him aside and started yelling at him. It turned out he was going out with this girl and chose to break up with her while we were on our date. He pointed to me and he was like "I am with her now." I kept trying not to laugh. They were screaming at each other. Then he turns to me and is like "let's go." I refused and after he asked me a few times, he left. I didn't have a ride home and we were about 40 minutes from my house and it was about 12am, but I thought me and this girl could bond over what an asshole he was and maybe she would drive me home. However, she completely ignored me. Luckily (I guess?) he had just pulled his car closer to the bar and came back to get me. This time I got in his car.

He dropped me off home and I thought it was all over with. The next morning, his mom called me and asked what happened to him. I had no clue what she was talking about. Well, it turns out he got a DUI that night and his mom had to pick him up at the police station and he was all passed out and stuff. She didn't realize I was no longer out with him at that point.

A few hours later, he called me and offered me $1000 to lie in court and say he didn't drink anything all night. At first, I agreed to it because I was a broke college student. Then I decided that was a horrible idea and ignored his phone calls.

Another bad date was when my boyfriend at the time got pulled over for speeding and ended up getting arrested for not paying child support and was brought to a jail 3 hours away and his ex-girlfriend bailed him out, but I won't get into that one.

Tati · Chanel

I went out to eat with this guy real quick to Taco Bell (yes, taco bell) and he was eating a
burritio. so i guess the tortilla was getting stuck to his teeth and as hes talking to me he starts
digging in his mouth with his fingers and starts to get the gunk out and keeps eating and talking
all at the same time. grossed me out. Never went out with him again.

Escrime · Kate Spade

I have two that stick out in my mind, and they were both blind dates, and they both have to do with me being Asian.

1. Guy I had chatted with on the phone shows up at my doors and says, I didn't know you were Asian.

Me: Is that a problem?

Him: Yes, my dad fought in the Korean War and I have to respect his hatred for them.

Me: I'm not Korean, YOU JACKASS (followed by door slamming in his face)

2. Guy shoes up on date, we have a pretty decent time, at the end of the night, he says, I am so glad Julie (mutual friend) set me up with you. I love Asian women because they are usually shorter than me.

Tati · Chanel

Some men are just straight out idiots!

Fireball · BCBG

I was supposed to meet my friends, this guy I was seeing and his friends at a Valentine's party. He showed up with another date. Then had the nerve to come up to me and say, "We're still gonna be friends, right?"

Men are so lovely.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Oh honey, there were so many. One that sticks out, though is the guy who picked me up late and took me to the county fair, where, instead of cotton candy and rides, he spent the whole night in the smelly animal barn looking at sheep and things (I'm thinking because it's free). He stood next to the pens and said things like "Wouldn't it be great to be a stud and just spend all day doing it?" (sure buddy). He never offered to buy me anything to eat. And after 2 hours, when I started to hint that my interest in pigs and cows was pretty much done, he wanted to go look at the tractors. I made him take me home.

The really interesting part of this story is that, while a farm boy with a yen for tractors might be cute, this guy grew up in the suburbs. WTH?

Oh, and two years later he convinced a friend of mine to go out with him - I told her but she wouldn't listen because he was in law school - and when he dropped her off, he literally begged her to go down on him. As in "Please, please, please!" We made fun of him for a year after that, as in 'Please, please, please pass me a coke - I'm so hot for it!"

blubirde · Chanel

Man could I write a book about this one!

There was the bodybuilder/male stripper (okay, okay, there were two of those)...

The guy who was recently divorced with 2 kids and called 20 times a day...

The guy who politely informed me how stupid I was on the 2nd date. Funny thing is, he didn't say it in those words but I was smart enough to figure out what the hell he was getting at! Jerk. Funnier thing, we make excellent friends now, though. Turns out I'm not quite the dumbass he thought and he's not quite the jackass I thought. (Well, he is, but I can appreciate that quality in a friend much more than a date.)

The guy who had some kind of tooth or mouth issue and kept spitting and drooling while we were eating lunch. Never think someone's a good date until you've eaten with them!

The guy who broke up with me via email after a very uninteresting first (yes, first) meeting for coffee that lasted all of an hour. The best part of this one was the immense joy my girlfriends and I received from the "break-up" email. It's the little things.

The guy who took me to an arcade and left me standing in a corner while he played videogames for an hour and then made me go to a chinese buffet so he could eat. I refused and spent most of the meal chatting it up with other gals in the bathroom. Oh, did I mention he had no dashboard in his car? Nice.

Is that enough examples of how hilarious dating is? I think it was created to provide amusement to one's friends and fodder for polls such as these.

sfclinevandy · Coach

Mine aren't as funny as everyone else's but still pretty bad...

1. This really good lucking guy who was 'perfect on paper' asked me out. I was so excited. Over dinner I realized he had no personality. I'm usually pretty open at first but he seriously had none. Then he mentioned he was only attracted to blondes and started talking all about the blondes at school he had hooked up with. I have very dark brown hair... I asked why he even asked me out in the first place and he said he wanted to try something new, PLUS I would make a pretty blonde. WTF? Besides I would make a hideous blonde. It was all so weird and after that we never went out again.

2. On one of my first dates with my now ex-boyfriend, he took me to a resturant where he is best girl friend worked. At the time I didn't know they had hooked up before. She totally ignored me but couldn't stop talking to Jay. He was fine though and focused all of his energy on me. We had a nice time, excluding her, but when the check came he took out money to pay. I looked at the bill and I realized she had comped his ENTIRE meal of veal picatta, a salad, and several beers. All that was listed on the bill was my salad and iced tea. What made me madder was he just put down a 20 and ended up leaving her a $10 tip. After we became serious I asked WHY he would take me there and he said because he thought I liked Italian food and didn't even think about his friend/ex-hookup working there. What an idiot.

Heather · BCBG

In h.s., I went to a christmas dance with a guy who took me to a chinese buffet for dinner, while everyone else was out going to nice restaurants, I was at the local "china buffet" in my gown! I was so embarrassed.

another time, a guy took me bowling, the entire ride there he kept asking "is something wrong".."is something wrong?", "are you ok?"...."NO!, I was fine, but now that you keep harrassing me I'm not!" and then the entire 2 games of bowling there was silence, he had nothing at all to say....except "is something wrong?" ack!

sfclinevandy · Coach

Heather, I laughed out loud when I read this. I had a friend in highschool who got asked to the prom by a nerdy guy who went to another school. Her mom made her go and the guy made such a big deal about taking her to Olive Garden, like it was this fancy, exclusive place. There were no Olive Gardens near us so they had to go to this random one in a sketchy part of town, all dressed up, just the two of them.

quote:
Originally posted by: Heather
"In h.s., I went to a christmas dance with a guy who took me to a chinese buffet for dinner, while everyone else was out going to nice restaurants, I was at the local "china buffet" in my gown! I was so embarrassed. "

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: Heather
" another time, a guy took me bowling, the entire ride there he kept asking "is something wrong".."is something wrong?", "are you ok?"...."NO!, I was fine, but now that you keep harrassing me I'm not!" and then the entire 2 games of bowling there was silence, he had nothing at all to say....except "is something wrong?" ack!"

OMG...I think I went on a date with this guy, too. LOL!

e_doli · Dooney & Bourke

i got set up with this guy by an older female friend who claimed he was "cute", made tons of money, had a great apt. on the upper west side ...

i was 22 at the time, so when i look back on this i don't know what i was thinking, and cannot believe this guy was despeate enough to go along with this. here goes:

so i have him meet my friends and i (flag #1: who brings 3 girlfriends on a date?) at their apt. he walks in and, literally, we gasp. he is pudgy, balding, old looking ... think george castanza from seinfeld. we start asking him to guess which one erin (me) is, then to guess how old we are (22, 22, 23 and 15 - we were entertaining a friend's little sister for the weekend). the whole time we were giggling and acting totally immature.

we decide to go out and he takes us to a bar called the coffee shop. at this point we are sure that he is the original george castanza and are laughing hysterically and making fools of ourselves behind his back. nonetheless, he proceeds to buys us a round of drinks. and another.

we decide the free drinks are not worth hanging with george, so my friend jess pulls a roll of duct tape (?) out of her bag and starts rolling and urolling it, making that sticky tape sound adn saying how much she likes to tape things ... going on and on in a rather psycho way. he buys us another round, checks his cell phone, excuses himself. he comes back and tells us he has to meet some friends uptown. bye. we thank him for the drinks.

i guess the date wasn't so horrible for me, since we got bought drinks and he was the one tormented.

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

I don't really have any horrible date stories because I have only been on 3 dates in my life and they all were pretty nice. I do have a good men are morons story...

Not mine, but very good: A good friend of mine started talking to a guy that we knew at the bar one night and he seemed quite interested. (Well, as interested as a guy can be in college.) He was good looking and we knew him through friends so she thought they were really hitting it off. After the bar a big group (including the guy) of us decided to go back to her place for after hours. Once we got there we threw on the stereo and all started partying. My friend told me that she was going to put go put her purse and coat and stuff in her room and she would be right back. Apparently the guy overheard her and followed her to her room. When she got there she found him sitting on her bed - in his underpants!! She was like what the hell are you doing? He was like, I thought you might like to give me a blow job. No lie!! She told him to get the hell out and he left. She came back downstairs and told us the story and we were dying with laughter. The next day we went to see American Pie and that scene were Chris Klein is in the car with that girl is on and he said "suck me beautiful" we just died laughing and looked at her. From that night on that guy was referred to as "suck me beautiful" and to be quite honest I can't even remember his real name now:)!!

blink · Coach

Back when Hawaiian shirts were cool (hmm, 1997 or so) I was pretty drunk and out at a bar and I passed a guy in a bright blue Hawaiian shirt and all I said to him was, "Nice shirt!" I never introduced myself or talked to him any more than that. Well...turns out he was there with a guy who was dating my friend, so he ended up asking for and getting my number from her. I barely remembered what he looked like, but he asked me out and I went over there on a weeknight. I realized I wasn't attracted to him right away. But more than that, the every 15 minutes while we watched the movie, he kept telling me that I needed to pet his kitty cat (a pretty white Persian) because I was hurting her feelings by ignoring her. WTF??? an otherwise forgettable and boring date now sticks in my head...."Pet my kitty! You are not petting my kitty!"

jah · Dooney & Bourke

Unfortunately, I have so many things I could post on this topic, but I will pick the top three...

1) Met the SVP of Business Development for a software company on a sales call. We went on a business lunch and he was very friendly, but I just thought that was his personality. He called me at work a couple of times throughout the following month, each time getting more chatty, but I thought he was trying to ingratiate himself to win the sale. A little over a month after we met, he e-mailed me and asked me if I would have dinner with him. Since he didn't live in the same state, we discussed a conference we would both be attending and decided we would do dinner one evening during the conference. A week before the conference he let me know he wasn't going to attend, but that he would fly out and we could do the theater and dinner anyway (on the last night--Friday). On the Wednesday night of the conference, I was at a reception and discussing different software solutions with fellow colleagues, when we started discussing vendors and how they pull out all the stops. One of my colleagues then started to talk about the SVP. Next thing I know my colleague mentions that he was just at dinner with the SVP, the SVP's wife and two kids the week before at a different conference. I didn't believe what I was hearing, so I said are we talking about the same person. My colleague, who is good friends with the guy, proceeds to whip out his mobile phone and show me a picture of Mr. SVP, his wife and two kids. Later that evening, SVP called me to finalize our "date" and I asked him if his wife and two kids would be coming as well. He then tried to get me to believe they were getting a divorce. I proceeded to tell him that when he got that divorce he should fax me the papers and then maybe if I saw him on the street, I wouldn't cross to the other side. So I guess this isn't technically a date, but it does classify as my worst "almost date".

2) My old boss set me up with his old FBI buddy's son after I broke up with my boyfriend of 3+ years. My old boss had never met the son, but was told by the "buddy" the son was a financial analyst for the FBI and a graduate of a good university. So the son e-mails me and I agree to meet him for coffee at Starbucks. When I get to the Starbucks, he is waiting for me and I walk up to introduce myself, he starts to introduce himself, but can't because he has a SEVERE speech impediment. He cannot even say his first name. I feel so bad for him, that for the next two hours I sit in Starbucks with him, the entire time biting my tongue trying to stop myself from completing his sentences (during the two hours it also comes out that he has cerebral palsy). The sad part was, he was a really nice person and had done a lot in his life to overcome his disability, but I am very impatient... I couldn't help thinking the entire time, what kind of guy sends his son out on a blind date without telling the date some very important facts (I mean did he think I wouldn't notice???).

3) My sorority sister set me up on a blind date with her husbands co-worker. He picked me up and took me to a downtown "hotspot" for lunch about 20 blocks from where I worked. During lunch, he polished off 5 Jack and Cokes and talked incessantly about basketball. Now I am a sports lover, so the sports talk alone wouldn't have put me off (though the excessive drinking at lunch would), but when he couldn't answer who was running for the democratic nomination for president (this was last year), I knew I had to get out of there. I raced through lunch with the excuse that I had tons of work to do, but he had the nerve to think I was getting in his car with him to be taken back to work. I, of course, refused (with the help of the manager) and walked the 20 blocks in my 3-inch heels back to work. He told my sorority sister's husband the date had went fantastically and he thought we should all go out to dinner that weekend, needless to say, I told my sis differently and screened his calls out for a couple of weeks.

The single world is a jungle, that's all I have to say...!