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jah


Dooney & Bourke

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Hey, question for everyone - please help me solve a debate.

My friend has been "hanging out" long distance with a guy for 6+ months.  They see each other about once or twice a month.  She has a match.com profile and thinks she should take it down since they are on a pretty regular schedule of seeing each other.  I don't think she needs to take it down until they are exclusive... Thoughts?  

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have been hanging out with a couple of guys LD and haven't taken my down and have no intention of doing so unless I make the decision that I want to have "the relationship" discussion with one of them.  She says I have no intention of getting serious with either of them since I am unwilling to take it down, I say I am hedging my bets...

Thanks in advance for your honest thoughts!

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Marc Jacobs

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I agree with you.  As long as she's not telling the LD guy that he's the only one and boyfriend/girlfriend, she should be able to keep her profile up.  It's still good to meet people.  That may sound naive, but oh well.

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Kate Spade

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My bff (who has been cheated on & discovered the evidence online) checks for this type of stuff. She was dating someone for about that long & found his profile still up. It really upset her and the relationship didn't last much longer. However, she has major baggage in that area.

I guess it depends on how serious you feel. If you aren't committed or exclusive with one person, then leave it up.

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Hermes

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I agree with you. I consider myself "on the market," no matter how long I've been dating one person, until we actually have the "we are exclusive" conversation. I could be so in love with someone that I want to marry him, but if we, or he, are not ready to make an exclusive commitment for whatever reason I wouldn't take it down.


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Fashion is art you live your life in. - Devil Wears Prada | formerly ttara123



Coach

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"hanging out" is far from a relationship status for which I would ever consider taking myself off the market.

If the guy hasn't either said "I love you" or has asked for a committed relationship, then your friend has no reason to assume that the guy is exclusive with her. 

Out of consideration for him if she is worried he would be hurt that she still has a match profile, I would say that it wouldn't hurt for her to simply ask him where the relationship is going....I know that sounds blunt, but if a couple has been together for 6 months, I think it's entirely appropriate to find out for sure before she just puts all her romantic investment into this relationship.

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Chanel

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Personally, if it's been 6 months and they haven't had the DTR conversation (define the relationship) then she should most definitely NOT take it down. But if she's that concerned about it, there's one easy way to solve the issue - talk to him. Or, ya know, DTR. If they both agree to not date anyone else then she should take it down. Otherwise she's setting herself up for heartache, because he's probably not as into the relationship as she is.

FWIW, I think you're right.

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Chanel

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I think if she feels like taking it down, for whatever reason, she should. Maybe that's what she needs to do to move forward?


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