STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

I just wanted to say I think you are smart for following your heart. In the end you will be happier that you didn't just stick around for your bf's sake. You deserve time to yourself. Good luck!

Good luck and I'm very proud that you are following your heart- too many girls (and even guys for that matter) stick around out of guilt. Hope it goes as well as it can!

You'll be in my thoughts tonight. I'm hoping for the best.

Good luck, girl. I know it'll be hard, but it really sounds like you've come to the best decision. Hugs to you.

I am glad you are following your heart, but still took some time to think it over after your graduation and moving.  I hope it went okay.  Good luck.

Wow! You're very brave and I think you're totally right by staying true to yourself. You can never go wrong there. How did it go?

I hope it all went well ttara! I definitely think you're making the right decision. Sometimes it's hard to grow as a person and figure out what you really want when you're with someone who, as in your case, has different ideas.

Well, I did it. And actually, it did not suck as much as I thought it would. It was still horrible, but I was afraid he was going to bawl his eyes out. But he said he kind of anticipated something like this, and that'd been crying for the past couple weeks, so that emotional side was a lot tamer than I thought. I cried more than him. As I expected, the hardest thing was to tell him that I needed time alone, not simply time farting around with him. He kept making me feel really guilty by saying things like, "But I love you! Are you telling me that love isn't enough? are you saying love isn't the most important thing?" Thankfully, he wasn't angry at me and I don't think he hates me. I do know that I basically stomped all over his heart, though, which makes me want to just about die.

Afterwards, a friend took me out for a drink and slept over. We didn't talk much about the breakup itself, but I just needed someone with me. Then, on Saturday morning, I took a "road trip" with my friend who needed my truck to bring a car hood up to his parents' house (3.5 hours away) and pick up some other stuff. I know it sounds crazy, but I was very happy doing something so normal-ish instead of holing myself up and crying my eyes out. We went out to dinner, went drinking and to a pool house, and just hung out all day today. I just got home a while ago.

But now that I'm home, and alone, and have nothing to do, I'm starting to get all weepy and whenever I go in the kitchen I think about cooking with him, in the bedroom I think about snuggling with him, etc. I know it will pass but right now it's the pits. Because I DO love him still. I'm just not ready. I'm trying not to cry too much, which I know is probably hurting me emotionally, but I feel like I just don't have the energy because I know that as soon as I start crying, I'll move into bawling and sobbing and not leaving my bed for a week.

It's just hard to think of us as being separate, you know? It's hard to know who I am without him, since he was so much a part of me and all my plans for so long.

So brave, ttara23, for bringing your feelings out into the open and following your intuition and your needs.