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Teresa


Kate Spade

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Frustrated
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So one of my oldest friends got pregnant during her senior year of college and her family disowned her, litterally, because she is single, and what not.  So after she graduated, and was 9 months pregnant, she moved from Chicago to Minneapolis to move in withmy family.  My parents just wanted her to hve a place where she could learn the "mommy basics" without having to worry about finances and also be supported.  I was excited, of course, because i love her and she is a great friend, and i live with my parents during the summer when school is out...
Fast forward a few months...The baby is 1 month old, and they've been living with us since May.  I am ready to pull my hair out.  My friend, who we will call L, is acting so entitled to everything.  She expects us to babysit her kid at every beck and call and she is SO unappreciative.  She takes no responsibility for anything and I cannot stand it any longer.  I feel as though she is walking all over my parents and I'm infuriated. 
Problem is, she is a very broken girl right now,  many people in her life have abandoned her and I dont want her to feel like she isn't welcome.  I know my parents would never say anything to her, but I see how stressed and frustrated they are.  Is it my place to say something to her?  She is being a total bitch to my younger brother, ordering him around, etc.  help.

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emery


BCBG

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I would say, yes, you should say something. I personally sometimes let people walk all over me, simply because they are not in the best mental state. Your family should always come before your friends, especially since it sounds like you have such a great family. I am afraid that if you don't say something you may be put in a position where you feel like you have to choose between taking your friends side and taking your families, and that is a very uncomfortable situation. If your friend is really your friend she will realize that you and your family have done SO much to help her out, and she will quickly fix the problems. HTH!

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Suasoria


Chanel

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Posts: 3120
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I feel it's up to your parents to speak to her, perhaps something kind but firm, such as "you're a member of this family now, and here's how our family works." Perhaps they can lay down some ground rules for how she behaves towards the other members of the household - such as we don't mind babysitting, but you should have an alternate arrangement in case we're busy.

If you feel you have to be the one to say something, I'd be very sensitive. A smart way to go about this may be "you don't seem like yourself lately. I've noticed you snapping at (brother) and being sort of blase about things that would have been a big deal to you the past such as (time when she didn't take responsibility for something). Is there something going on that you want to talk about?"

She could also be experiencing some postpartum depression or other hormonal stuff that is making her difficult to be around - in which case, she should get try to get help in some form.



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FashionPrincess


Hermes

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Suasoria wrote:


She could also be experiencing some postpartum depression or other hormonal stuff that is making her difficult to be around - in which case, she should get try to get help in some form.


This is what I was thinking.  It's a big emotional adjustment having a baby.  But it doesn't give her the right to take advantage of you all.



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