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reallyneedsadvice


Nine West

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Back again......
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So I posted a rather long post about a month ago about how my feelings for my husband had changed......I finally made an appt. with a counselor, but this weekend I really screwed up......I made out with a guy from my work. I havn't eaten in 3 days ( VERY unlike me) and I am just a mess. It just reconfirmed everything I was feeling before. I swear I am not a bad person, but I do not know why this happened. ( although I can think of afew good reasons) is anyone out there a single mom??? I am so scared to even think what it must be like, but I don't know if I can keep doing this. I have my appt. on Fri...so hopefully that will help me to start and understand where the probelm lies......I was just wondering if their are single moms out here that are making it work ;) Thanks for letting me vent...again. This has got to be the worst time in my life......

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Teresa


Kate Spade

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Posts: 1086
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First of all...(((((hugs))))) you need to be your own best friend right now. your going through an incredibly hard time and instead of being hard on yourself, you need to support yourself. Start by eating something. your not helping youself or your kids by not eating. I can imagine you are feeling sick about this, but remember, self care is so important. You can't take care of your kids until you take care of yourself.

I'm not a therapist, so I'm not going to try and give you advice about your marriage, but I have been kicked to the ground a few times in my life and the one bible verse that always helps me when I need to make a tough decision is "For you will learn the truth and the truth will set you free" SOMETHING clearly needs changing in your life, you need to be the one who decides what that is. Listen to your heart.

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Carrie Bradshaw: The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.
Cricket


Gucci

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Posts: 2766
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cry  I don't have any advice, but I'm glad you are going to see a therapist.  Follow your heart and you will be fine.  I agree w/ collegegirl, you need to take care of yourself.  Don't beat yourself up so much.  I'm sorry you're going through this.

Hang in there!

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Alegria


Kate Spade

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Posts: 1478
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I am a single mom (gulp, still hard to say). It's hard. It's scary. It's a lot of responsiblity, but I would never ever tell you to stay in an unhealthy relationship just because you're afraid of being a single mom.

One thing I will say is that as a person who has been cheated on by their spouse I really think that you need to figure yourself out and sort your relationship out with your family and spouse before you do things like make out with a guy from work. I know that will sound cruel and cold and judgemental but it's how I feel. My personal morals and beliefs are what drives my zero tolerance for adultery regardless of the reason. I obviously don't know the entire story and I am not saying you are a bad person. If anything please PM me if you need to talk. Maybe we can help each other understand the other side of things.

If you want to tell me nothing about your relationship that's fine too. I am more than willing to talk to you about how the past year has been as a single mom.

Good luck with everything and please make sure you go to your appointment on Friday.

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I am my own woman. ---Evita Peron
blink


Coach

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Posts: 1652
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Okay.  You have made a mistake in a weak moment.  You did it for a reason, which is not synonymous with an excuse, but the reason still needs to be explored and you have just begun.  You feel horrible, naturally, but your children need you to take care of yourself.  I don't have any advice for you except don't beat yourself up and certainly, don't engage in self-defeating behavior, acting with restraint will leave you feeling better about yourself in the end.  It takes strength. 

And as for being a single mom, I am not there yet, but my marriage has it's issues, so I can relate to the fear of the consideration. 

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"Go either very cheap or very expensive. It's the middle ground that is fashion nowhere." ~ Karl Lagerfeld
Drew


Gucci

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Posts: 2553
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I don't really have any advice, but just want to offer support.  We all do things we shouldn't do and things that make us feel like we are acting like someone else.  I hope you can get to the bottom of the underlying issues and find some resolution soon...  Good luck.

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Suasoria


Chanel

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Posts: 3120
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I agree with all the thoughts above. Make sure the counselor knows what-all is happening so you can address it as intelligently and conscientiously as you can. Somehow I can physically feel how bad things are for you right now and I'm sending you majorly good loving vibes...be good to yourself and let us know how it goes.

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conet


BCBG

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Posts: 127
Date:
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you poor thing (((((hugs))))) try to take care of yourself and your children first, and listen to the counselor. best wishes for the future, janet

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