STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Elle · Hermes

Moved away vs. Here to stay

tri_sarah_tops · Marc Jacobs

I'm from Nebraska, DH is from Florida, and we live in Wisconsin and plan to stay for awhile. I have no regrets about leaving, and I don't think he does either, but now that we have a child I do sometimes wish we were closer to family. I know that we'll never go back to Nebraska but would probably consider moving back to Florida, although to a different part of the state (fam is in south florida, we'd live north or west).

Overall, I'm happy where we are, but do wish that our parents got to spend more time with our daughter. I have a very close relationship with my grandparents and I want her to be able to have that as well. however, I'm very glad that we got to spend the early part of our marriage away from the influence of our parents - he's an only child and very close to his mother and I'm glad that we got to spend that time on our own, just learning how to be together and independent, you know?

Kelly · Hermes

I'm 100 miles away from my family right now. That doesn't sound like a long way, but it feels like it! I'm moving home in about three weeks so I can live right next to my parents. We'll basically be neighbors - to get to my house, they'll have to walk through a little path through our forest, but they'll still be the closest house to me. But I'm hugely commited to my family and everything - just moving 100 miles was heartbreaking for me and I always knew I'd return. I thought I'd stick it out here a few more years, but a little more than a year ago I met my BF, who happens to live just 5 minutes from my hometown, so I'm moving back much right after I graduate so I can be with him. But I always knew I'd come home when I was ready to settle down.

Personally, I don't ever think I'll leave my hometown if it's not completely mandatory. That's where our familes are, and neither of us are so commited to a career to follow a job somewhere zillions of miles away from our familes. "Family first." Of course, if my family no longer lived in my hometown, I might have different feelings about it - then I wouldn't have a good enough reason to stay.

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

I love my hometown - its home. However DH and I both grew up there and its a little too "small town" for both of us. We have moved several times (although all within an hour of our hometown) and we ended up settleing about 20 min from where we grew up. Where we live now is great and we love it. Close enough to family, yet a real city with people our age and plenty of things to do. I honestly dont know if we will ever leave where we live now (until retirment one day maybe?)

needsfashionadvice · Kate Spade

Me and DH are both from the same small town. Together, we moved to a different state after college. After being there for a few years, we decided to move back to our home state, but not our hometown. We live about 3 hours away from where our parents live and that's a really good distance for us. No suprise pop-in's lol.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I moved 700 miles away from my hometown. It wasn't exactly planned on. I went to college and met my husband, he lived here and had a good job and my relationship with my parents at the time was really rocky, so I moved here. There are times when I miss my hometown but it's kind of nice to just go visit and then leave when I'm sick of it. I really love where I live now and have established a life here that I can't really imagine leaving behind. Now I wouldn't go so far as to say I'll never move back to Ohio, there are fleating moments of homesickness (especially now with a baby), but overall I'm very happy with where I live.

littlebean · Kate Spade

I live 1000 miles from home and don't ever plan on returning. I love where I'm from, but I don't think the career opportunities are there for me. It would be fun to be somewhere closer to home than I am I right now, but only time will tell if that is possible. I love my family, but everyone is spread out, and I never had the expectation of staying at home, so we just try to fly frequently to see each other.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

I left for a while, but ended up moving back to about an hour away from where I grew up. I'm not set on staying here gor forever though. We'll see where life takes us.

Sandy · Kate Spade

I'm still young, so I guess I can't really talk about settling yet... though I can say that I'm never leaving. I love my city, and I think it's perfect. My entire extended family lives within 20 minutes of me, which is very important. I don't think I could ever be without my family. My boyfriend, who I plan to marry, and his family are all here, too. I've been here all my life, and it's all I've ever known. When we moved about five years ago, it was to a house five minutes away. I feel very much a part of this city... my family is very involved in the community (and I guess it helps that the mayor is a close friend of the family). Our school system is great, and, although the market is currently very expensive, the homes are beautiful. I love that it's suburban but you don't have to drive 20 minutes to get to the grocery store. City shopping and resturants are 5 minutes away, and the beaches are 15 minutes away in the other direction. Boston is a T ride away, and I can catch Amtrak at the same station if I want to go to NY. It's a very centralized location for my needs.

The only reason I think I'd consider leaving here is the airport. It's pretty much taking over the city, and I don't know if I like it. Other than that, I think I'm here for life!

halleybird · Hermes

My husband and I both went to school about 2 hours from here, and we even lived across the country for a summer. We now live about 10 miles from our old stomping grounds, and within a few miles of my parents, his parents and his sister. None of our immediate family (except my sister) lives more than an hour away.

I don't LOVE my city (though my husband does) but I love that my family is here. I always thought I wanted to live far away, but once I did, I really missed my crazy family members. I grew up with a lot of cousins, grandparents, etc. all in town, and I am glad my kids (if I have them) will, too.

boobaby · Kate Spade

I'm from Nebraska, too, tri_sarah_tops. I moved an hour away from my parents for college, then moved to another state, then another. I always knew I wouldn't stay in my hometown and have never had any desire to go back. Plus, my parents retired to Florida, so there is no home to go to. My grandparents are all deceased - the only family left is one sibling and my aunt and her family. Two of my siblings live in the same city that I do, so I have family here.

cat · Marc Jacobs

I voted other,becuase I havn't moved yet,however; by as late as Aug this year I will be moving away from my home town for the first time.
I don't see myself ever moving back either,I really just don't fit in there anymore.

-- Edited by cat at 22:20, 2007-06-21

jettie · Kate Spade

I just recently moved away from home (East coast to west coast). I'm really not sure whether I'll move back. The big draw for me would be if I got married and had children, I'd want them to be close to my parents and sister.

Lilykind · Hermes

If I was in your shoes, I'd call the moving truck and haul your lovely selves back to Denver.

I live 3,000 miles away from my family and it's just far enough. wink

When I transferred to a larger college for my junior/senior years, I had narrowed down my choice to either being in Los Angeles or New York. I chose LA for personal reasons, one of them being that my family was in quite the funk at the time. I saved myself a lot of unneccessary drama as my parents were in the midst of a nasty divorce about the same time I moved out.

Do I regret the move? Well, I honestly FAR prefer the energy and vibe of New York, but my career/industry (which I enjoy greatly) is very LA-centric. I've made a life for myself here, and I'm okay with the fact that Los Angeles will never be New York. At least it's a large city with all the amenities I could ever want. I'd love to move back to NYC given the opportunity, but I don't see it happening.

Corny though it is, distance generally does make the heart grow fonder. I make bi-weekly calls to my father so he keeps me abreast of what's going on. This is plenty of family interaction for me. I haven't talked to my mother since August of 2004, something I don't really lose sleep over. My BF just saw his father a couple of months ago for the first time in 9 years...the meeting went very well, but only because it had been so long. KWIM? He makes weekly phone calls to his mom, and his brother lives nearby us.

Both of our families are more of a nuisance than anything. Everyone's comapring cousins to cousins, siblings to siblings...there's so much cattiness and drama. Also, with a few exceptions, they're all very negative people (i.e. my family can't STOP saying I'm fat, my acne is horrid, etc.). We'd just rather not be a part of it. We don't plan on having children, so I don't have the whole children not being near their extended family thing resting on my shoulders.

Bottom line, IMO, it's okay to not love being around your family. Frankly, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with most of mine if I wasn't related to them. BF's family is better, but still not all that ideal...

NCshopper · Hermes

I'm not sure where we'll end up, honestly. I love my hometown (San Diego) but I've made a career for myself in North Carolina and we're finally starting to make friends here. The prospect of staying here for a long time actually doesn't sound bad anymore. Ideally, I'd love to end up in San Diego again, but I think that's mostly just an emotional feeling for me. In reality, the traffic is horrendous and it's far too expensive for us right now. So, who knows? I figure if we're meant to go back to San Diego, we'll know when the time is right and it just isn't right right now.

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

I guess I 'll votie I never left, seeing as how I only live 30 minutes from where I grew up.

But, we don't see my family all that often, always do holidays. together.

I grew up in a very white affluent area, and now live in a more diverse city. It's also a LOT more liberal here. And, I like the diversity and liberalness.

There are a lot of reasons why I'd like to move back there, and just as many reasons why I don't want to. Right now, since affordability is an issue, it's not a consideration. But, someday it may be.

-gd

luckylily · Gucci

To me, "home" is where my DH and I are, not where my family is. I love my family, but where they live has no influence on where I live. Well, that's not 100% true, I wouldn't want to live someplace where my parents or DH's parents could stop by on a regular basis. I would definitely never move back to the town I grew up in (my family doesn't even live there anymore). When I was growing up it was a quirky small town, now its a disgusting suburb over run by strip malls super walmarts, super targets, and super whatevers; none of the cute, old town characteristics remain.

halah · Kenneth Cole

This is such a personal decision! I'm an only child so only have my parents as immediate family and then tons of cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents (I'm including the step family in this) in multiple states. I live approx 1,300mi from my mom but I still get to see her once every couple of months. I have no plans to move closer to my family unless someone needs my help one day (health etc).

My stepfather was in the Army so I grew up moving every few years and am completly comfortable with it. It was a challenge when I moved to NYC on my own but I have learned so SO much about myself. It's hard making friends and I can imagine that it would be a challenge for you and the DH because you don't want to just sufficate each other!

Would you be able to go back and visit when you want? With my traveling for work it's easy for me to schedule a fly-back to home or to meet family members somewhere for a vacation so I get to see everyone at least 3 times a year, I think that helps. If I couldn't go see them when I want it would be tougher.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

I live about six hours away from where I grew up. I have no interest in ever returning to my hometown--I loved growing up there, but after living in NY for so long I know it would feel claustrophobic. Plus my dad lives somewhere else now, and my aunt and uncle and cousins who I'm close to live in DC/Maryland. I like being within train distance to them--I actually wish I were closer, but I cannot ever see myself down in the DC/NoVa area for any reason, so it doesn't look too likely.

Suasoria · Chanel

Left, came back, and plan on leaving again, though not extremely soon.

My hometown (the place I came back to) isn't really a hometown since we moved here as a young teen, after living in two other places - these three communities are very different from each other. Of these three hometowns, I live more or less in one and there's another I wouldn't be against living in again. The third I hate going to even just to visit relatives there.

I also love where I moved TO after leaving my hometown, but I couldn't really afford to live there on what I was making. (Now that I can afford it, I'm too entrenched here!)

For us as our parents our aging, it becomes more and more difficult to leave again. We like where we are, so I don't foresee us leaving just yet, but we do plan to retire out of the country.