STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

jacks435 · Kenneth Cole

frustrating friend!

Mandy · Kate Spade

I think you are handling exactly the way you should. Just tell her that you don't think its weird. You could even laugh it off and say, "well, I guess I'm just weird then" like its no big deal.

I'm such a child I'd probably retaliate by telling her that she was weird or her jeans, car, food, whatever is weird.

littlebean · Kate Spade

That is frustrating! I think you have three options:
-spend less time with her
-the next time she says something particularly aggressive, tell her that you've noticed that she often calls your preferences strange or weird and that, while you respect her opinions, it makes you feel bad to hear them expressed in this way
-try to ignore it and not take it personally

It's hard for me to tell whether she has a lot of issues and for some reason needs to harshly criticize the people around her all the time in order to feel better about herself -- or if she's just an opinionated gal who doesn't think very much about how it might feel for others to hear that she thinks that such-and-such flavor of ice cream is totally gross when its their favorite flavor. I know that I have some friends that are just more critical and argumentative than I am, and I don't think they are this way out of any sort of malice, but it sounds like your friend may be going farther than they are.

NCshopper · Hermes

I'm thinking she probably doesn't even realize she does that. If that's the case, then I'd just retort back in a very playful manner, "Oh yeah, well you're weird!" I'd make sure to do it very childlike and teasingly, so she knows that you're joking, but so that it's memorable enough to her that when you do it every time she says something like that to you, that she realizes that she says that a lot.

jacks435 · Kenneth Cole

I have a feeling you're right, NCShopper -- she probably doesn't even realize she does it (or that it's annoying when she does it!). I'm sure she's not intentionally being malicious. I'll just try to call her out on it more in a lighthearted way and also just try to not let it bother me. I already feel better just writing about it... sometimes it's just nice to vent to a completely unbiased audience!

Thanks, ladies!

joy0302 · Kate Spade

I had a friend that was the same way, but I think it was that she had really low self esteem. She had made a lot of bad choices and cutting people down seemed to help her feel better about herself. Eventually I got tired of putting up with it and stopped hanging around with her. Try to call her out on it and if she stills keeps it up you may want to rethink if this is a friendship that you really want to continue.