STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Sorry this is so freaking long....its like an essay...

I know what we need to do....but I dont think its going to happen...so I guess I'm just venting....

I'm sick of putting our plans on hold because of DH's family.  I know all families have issues sometimes and I'm all for being there for each other, but I think this is too much! I came from a pretty grounded family while DH's was the complete opposite, so maybe I need to be more versatile.

So here's the deal...as y'all know we were supposed to move to AZ this month...settle in...buy a place later this year.  I was going to put in my notice @ work in April, it was going to work out great as my management role transitioned to Europe and I was no longer stressed about finding/training my replacement.  Also, our apt. lease was up and this was the time to move w/o paying a penalty...and DD is not is school yet so its so much easier to move b4 she makes friends, etc.  So late February, MIL's DH was having some problems and decides to move back to his home country.  DH and 19 & 21 yr old brothers felt DH's youngest 9yr old was better off getting an education here and was best not to be split up from his siblings.  Fine.  So we decided to push our plans to move to AZ until Sept, move in to MILs house, make the place nice and take 9 yr old BIL under our care. 

So in the 6-7 mth period we are staying in CA supposedly DH's brothers are going to get their finances and whatever in order so when we moved to AZ they could afford to stay at MIL's house.  The rent is half, yes HALF of what you will find anywhere in a nice neighborhood in So. Cali.  What we pay for rent you pay to rent a room in someone else house around here.  I thought it would be a win-win kinda deal since moving into MIL's house meant we could save more $ towards our move and BILs wouldnt have to move out.  So the 1st months rent is due and DH tells me his brothers either had to pay thier cars that week or some other lame reason for not having their part of the rent.  Fine. Whatever, they're young, they're adjusting since they never helped MIL w/any of the finances this is a change.  The problem is this has happened ever since....I pay all the utility bills, the groceries (these boys dont just eat...they devaour a huge cereal box in 2 days..not kidding) AND when I'm not working late or going to school, I make dinner for EVERYONE.  DH pays the rent PLUS gives them money for gas and their portion of the rent.  Fine...again. They are his brothers.

The next thing is that they have no respect for me & DD.  When I dont cook they will let the dishes pile up in the sick.  The bedrooms are really small so I had put my wood mirror stand against the wall in the living room until DH made his next trip to our storage.  It was not in the way of anyone's path, but I found it outside along with a frame.  And it rained and somehow some white paint stuff got all over my frame.  DD also has a shoebox sized bucket w/her bath toys in the corner of the bath....again in no ones way....and they also threw it outside!  She's not allowed to have ANY toys in the living room, she left ONE doll once and I heard it slam against the wall when they found it. 

DH decided to make a cleaning schedule, we would all take turns weekly to clean the house and they mentioned how DD & me were making the house messy by leaving toys or my Zappos boxes  in the living room.  They made it very clear not ONE thing needs to be left, I need to put it in my room or its going outside.  They actually threw out my drapes and a lamp I had placed outside to take to storage.  On the 21 yr old brother's week to clean...he did absolutely nothing.  If any of you girls have ever lived with guys, OMG the bathroom is filthy gross, I had to clean all that crap off on my week.  DH and I went camping this weekend and I took Friday off work to make sure I stayed on the cleaning schedule.  We came back Monday and the house was nasty, there were dirty dishes mixed with clean ones, the trash was overflowing, and the bathroom had hair all over the sink from shaving and the toilet had pee stains.  Not only that put they went into our bedroom found my spare car key and moved my car from the driveway and parked it in the street!  I have no problem parking in the street except when we're out of town!  DH confronted them about it, I dont know exactly what was said...I was so mad I had to leave.

One more financial thing...yes there's more....now they want to go back to school...the catch?  They dont want to work and go to school, they want to quit their jobs and go to school full time and want DH to take over the payments on the car/insurance. DH actually considered doing it!!! I had to talk him out of it.  When my brother decided to get a FT job, he switched his day classes to evening...its possible! 

So after all this...we have spent just about the same amt of $ we would have spent if we just would have stayed at our old apt and moved to AZ as planned.  Now our plans to AZ are on hold AGAIN due to my BILs living off of us!  DH keeps theatening kicking them out, but I highly doubt they would leave. GRRRR! I'm just so sick of it now I just come home and go straight to our room and dont come out until the nxt day to go to work.  Its horrible!

-- Edited by BargainQueen at 17:14, 2007-05-31