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shopgirl82


Chanel

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Victimization....
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this is a bit of rant, probably more of a ramble due to the recent amount of sleep i've gotten....

very recently, i was a victim of a somewhat aggressive crime in which i have to testify in court tomorrow, and probably several other times.  it just makes me sooo mad, especially after what happened today at Virginia Tech, that people can do things like that to innocent people.  i mean, since it happened, i have gotten no sleep, had nightmares, and just had an overall sense of anxiety (i'm still debating on whether or not to get medication for this).  pardon my language, but the fucker who did that to me probably has no idea of the lasting ramifications of his actions.  i just have lost so much faith in people, i look at people differently, and i cringe at the thought of seeing the person tomorrow even though his image has popped into my head several times a day since the incident.  i mean i just can't imagine being in a state of mind of purposely victimizing someone....and these poor students today are forever going to be effected by the gunman's actions.  whether they jump at the sound of a random noise, or they can't sleep, focus, etc...their lives are never going to be the same.  what happened to me sucked, but it just makes me continuously think of people who have been EXTREMELY victimized.  if things in my life have changed this much, i can only imagine if a true tragedy occurred.....


thanks for letting me vent.  i just needed to get that out.  the incident today has gotten me even more sad and upset with douchebags who harm others either directly or indirectly. 



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dangergirl


Kate Spade

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i never know what to say about things like what happened today and what's happened to you. i hope that court tomorrow goes as well as it can and that you're ok.

(edited for spelling)

-- Edited by dangergirl at 19:38, 2007-04-16

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lynnie


Chanel

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((hugs))
I can relate somewhat (though i wasn't victimized)- i was in a couple of car accidents and now I have so many nightmares and can't drive a car above 60 mph without getting shaky and hyperventilating.  That was incredibly tramautic for me (and still is), I can't even imagine how it would be for those poor students and families.  My heart goes out to them- many people from my hs end up going to virginia tech and my boyfriend went to hs in littleton, co- it just makes me so sad that this is the world we live in and no one is safe.  I think about this on the subway in nyc everyday...it would just be so easy to attack...

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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I know. The only way you can get up in the morning is to believe that things will probably be ok. Maybe even great. Violence takes away that feeling, because the thing that is at the front of your mind is what happened, and it feels like it will happen again, in fact, it feels like the most likely thing, because it is what you remember most clearly right now. And the lawsuit keeps it all in the front of your mind. You can't forget, you have to play it over and over in order to be a good witness. It would be easier if you could remember all the days that were good, but right now, those arent' the days that everyone is talking about. Everyone is talkign about what happened, over and over.

It's really hard and I do think in this case medication could help. Post traumatic stress disorder can be treated. Big hugs sweetie. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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XtinaStyles


Marc Jacobs

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i'm sorry for your pain...

you are so right in that these people don't understand how long-lasting the ramnifications of these attacks can be. I was held up by gunpoint when I was about 18 and I still haven't gotten over it entirely.

good luck in court.. just remember that you are doing good by being there and hopefully with your help, he won't be able to do the same thing to someone else.



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Farrah


Marc Jacobs

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Good luck in court. Just remember that you are a strong person and you are doing the right thing by testifying. Does this have to do with the accident you had last summer while riding your bike? I remember that the drive was really reckless and you could have been hurt very badly had you not been wearing a helmet.

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NCshopper


Hermes

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Ugh...that really sucks and I'm not even sure what to say. Things will get better though and hopefully testifying in court will make things better for you, not worse. At least know that you're being proactive in getting this fucker put in jail (or whatever) and you're not just shrugging your shoulders saying "oh well."

Anyway, hugs to you. I hope it goes as best as possible tomorrow. Keep us posted.

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ILoveChoo


Hermes

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(((((hugs)))))

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shopgirl82


Chanel

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Dizzy wrote:

I know. The only way you can get up in the morning is to believe that things will probably be ok. Maybe even great. Violence takes away that feeling, because the thing that is at the front of your mind is what happened, and it feels like it will happen again, in fact, it feels like the most likely thing, because it is what you remember most clearly right now. And the lawsuit keeps it all in the front of your mind. You can't forget, you have to play it over and over in order to be a good witness. It would be easier if you could remember all the days that were good, but right now, those arent' the days that everyone is talking about. Everyone is talkign about what happened, over and over.


i think this is what i'm stressed about.  i feel like what happened sucked bad enough, but to have to replay it over and over again (it's not like i don't already), makes it even worse.  and seeing him again makes me ill.  i know i have to to get that guy put away, but it's just so stressful and draining.  i am just happy that there's so many positive things in my life that help me get through this and i'm glad that i'm physically ok.  i just can't stop thinking about how if this ultimately not horrible (i guess comparitively) thing is making me feel this way, what about the others like the victims/witnesses yesterday.  i mean they had something completely devistating, where their physical safety and their life was compromised....i just can't even imagine.  cry

anyway, today was ok, i definitely felt a lot of anxiety, but i guess i did what i needed to do and things look promising as far as the lawsuit goes.

dangergirl- thanks so much.  i feel the same way, it's always hard to know what to say. 

lynnie- i'm really really sorry about the car crash, to a degree i know how that feels because of my bike incident, but just the over-whelming sense of anxiety you must feel when you drive sucks.  i hope things get better for you.

xtinestyles- i'm really so sorry that happened to you. 

farrah- unfortunately nothing ever came of that bike injury, except for a hot scar and complete promotion of wearing helmets.  i don't really feel like going into the details about what happened right now, and actually i'm not sure if i'm allowed to, but thanks for the support.  it means a lot.


thanks for letting me vent.  i know it kills my SO and friends to hear me talk about it because there's nothing they can do to take it away, so i sometimes don't voice everything that's weighing me down...which makes me soo happy that you ladies are here.  


thanks so much.



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"i tell you one lesson I learned If you want to be something in life, You ain't gonna get it unless, You give a little bit of sacrifice, Oohh, sometimes before you smile you got to cry.." -The Roots
relrel


Marc Jacobs

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I hope your testifying goes okay and that the fucker dies walking home from a freak meteorite accident smile.gif. I don't know what happened or really what's going on with you but just from my limited experience through school it sounds like you might be experiencing post traumatic stress disorder. Have you talked to somebody about how you're feeling? I know the point of your post wasn't really health related...but I thought I should say something anyway because so many victims of violent crimes actually go through PTSD. It can really mess with people's lives- and it totally treatable through medication and therapy if needed. Anyway...good luck, and we're here for you!

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shopgirl82


Chanel

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relrel wrote:

I hope your testifying goes okay and that the fucker dies walking home from a freak meteorite accident smile.gif. I don't know what happened or really what's going on with you but just from my limited experience through school it sounds like you might be experiencing post traumatic stress disorder. Have you talked to somebody about how you're feeling? I know the point of your post wasn't really health related...but I thought I should say something anyway because so many victims of violent crimes actually go through PTSD. It can really mess with people's lives- and it totally treatable through medication and therapy if needed. Anyway...good luck, and we're here for you!


we only studied PTSD a bit in school, so my knowledge is a bit limited, but i know enough about it to know that it could be an issue that i may want to look into.  i don't know if it stems from my career, but i'm the last person to seek meds, therapy is fine, but i'm not into meds.  weirdface

after posting yesterday, i realized that setting up a meeting with my therapist is a necessity sooner than later.  i'm hoping to explore it through professional therapy, rather than SO and friend therapy.  i'm not sure it's PTSD, but i guess it could be a real possibility since i know i have had increased anxiety since the incident, and i've never really had generalized anxiety before.  i just feel like there's a fine line between PTSD and "normal" and "abnormal" anxiety after an incident like that.  it's something that i've tried to figure out myself, and i've kinda just said it's normal based on the circumstances, but it's not a feeling i like, and i'm not sure it's something that i can successfully figure out on my own. 

so, i don't mind your health related suggestion, it's a good one.  smile

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"i tell you one lesson I learned If you want to be something in life, You ain't gonna get it unless, You give a little bit of sacrifice, Oohh, sometimes before you smile you got to cry.." -The Roots
sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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Hey, I have no advice that hasn't already been given, but just wanted to send good vibes and wish you good luck. Take care of yourself!



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squishy


Coach

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it sounds like you're doing the best anyone can do in your situation. good luck for the upcoming court appearances. and amen to the fucker and the meteorite!

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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sephorablue wrote:

Hey, I have no advice that hasn't already been given, but just wanted to send good vibes and wish you good luck. Take care of yourself!





I second that! Good luck and I hope that guy gets his butt kicked!

About 7 years ago I experienced PTSD. For months I was resistant to medication and only wanted talk therapy treatment. I'm not telling you meds are the only answer, *but* I did eventually try meds and they really helped. I understand not wanting to use them, but there's nothing wrong with trying them if you feel other methods aren't working. Just something to keep in mind for future reference. smile.gif

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Teresa


Kate Spade

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shopgirl82,
It hurts, I know. Realize that it is okay to hurt for awhile. Someone has wronged you. To begin the heaing process, you need to take care of yourself and that begins with acknowleging how you feel and for me, that was broken and dirty. Keep in mind that this was something that happened TO you. It was out of you control and it DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. You are more than this. Hopefully going to court and seeking justice will give you some closure. Please know that when you are going through these painful steps in the next few days and months, you are not alone. When you face the *&^$#^* in court know every woman's spirit who has ever been in your shoes before is with you and most importantly remember...you are no longer a victim, you are a survivor.

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twinkle


Coach

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About 7 years ago I experienced PTSD. For months I was resistant to medication and only wanted talk therapy treatment. I'm not telling you meds are the only answer, *but* I did eventually try meds and they really helped. I understand not wanting to use them, but there's nothing wrong with trying them if you feel other methods aren't working. Just something to keep in mind for future reference. smile.gif

Me too - exactly. PM me if you want to talk. so sorry you are going thru this. ((hugs)))



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